Ugly Cars, Ugly Car Names…
Was driving down C-470 last night, got passed by a Pontiac Aztec, with the license plate “XQSME!” I thought to myself, “really, there’s NO excuse for driving an Aztec–is there?” One of the ugliest cars ever built.
Of course, I say that half-kiddingly. No matter HOW ugly a car may seem to MOST people, there are always a few people that find it attractive. For example, I have always thought the ORIGINAL Subaru B-9 Tribecas–the ones with the horse-collar grille?–were pretty COOL looking! I was QUITE disappointed to see that they’d re-tooled the styling last year and changed the front end to look very boring.
I recently exchanged some e-mails with Chuck, a KOOL 105 listener, about ugly cars and ugly car names. What prompted the discussion was me bringing up the new electric car that GM is building, the Chevy Volt. Chuck thought that was a dumb name, although I think it’s OK. He also thought the Kompressor is a silly name for the Mercedes line of sports cars. He mentioned the Ford Probe–agreed, what a TERRIBLE name! And, of course, he brought up the Aztec. Any time there’s a feature article on Yahoo or MSN.com about ugly cars, the Aztec always gets mentioned–it’s LEGENDARY for its ugliness.
Back to ugly names. Here’s my list…
Isuzu Ascender. I’m sure the Isuzu people were wanting us to visualize this SUV “ascending” hills and mountains. But doesn’t the word “ascend” kind of suggest a gliding, upward movement? Not a very rugged image, for an SUV!
Isuzu Impulse. Yes, Isuzu gets the award for coming up with the worst names. I would mention the Isuzu Amigo, but this post might start to get redundant. Anyway, back to the Impulse. Aren’t impulses usually to be resisted? Is impulse shopping GOOD? I don’t think so.
Plymouth Breeze. I actually sort of LIKED this car, you still see one on the highway every once in awhile. But do I want to drive a breeze? Seems to suggest lightweight, easily breakable.
AMC Matador. Remember the TV commercial from the ’70s? “What’s a Matador?” Good question!! The strangest thing about this car was that the coupe and the sedan were totally different designs, even though they were supposedly the same model. Both were wierd-looking. The Matador sedan had a front end that looked like an over-stuffed sandwich, with the meat sticking out over the edge of the bread. The coupe had a bizarre sweeping body line that reminded you of a toothbrush. Unfortunately, that didn’t keep me from BUYING a Matador coupe–a beige 1974 Oleg Cassini model. It had a wild PLAID cloth interior. What can I say, it was the 70s!! I owned it for about three months before I couldn’t stand it any more, sold it to my Army bunk-mate.
Jeep Cherokee Laredo. Cherokees are Indians. “Laredo,” is that a cowboy term? Or did they intend it to be Spanish? Either way, we’re talking an absurd clash of cultures, aren’t we? How are “Cherokee” and “Laredo” related?
Those are some of MY thoughts–feel free to chime in!!